literature

[NNWM] SYOL - Chapter Four

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Orange woke up sweating, memories of drowning underwater fading rapidly as he sat up. It was over something really stupid, like a doughnut or something. Too many doughnuts for one day.

Turning off his alarm, Orange got ready for the day. Though it was only his second day living in the overlord’s dimension, he already felt like he had gone through the process a thousand times. He didn’t really mind it; Orange was very fond of routine.

The rest of the day yesterday had gone rather similarly in stark contrast to the first half of the day. He only got two more buzzes, one asking him to retrieve more printer paper and the other a request to deliver a box to someone on the other side of the building. Both tasks had gone swimmingly and absolutely ordinarily, allowing Orange to end the day with a clearer and more relaxed mind.

For a while, today picked up on the previous night’s mood. He did a few simple jobs that could have been completed by anyone who had been willing to put aside five minutes or so, but Orange didn’t have a problem with that.

“Hey, are you nervous at all?” Aedi asked as they met up during the afternoon. “About the mission thingy tomorrow, I mean.”

“Definitely.” Orange replied. He had been half-tempted to lie to her in hopes that she wouldn’t worry if he didn’t, but he didn’t like lying much. “I mean, I’m sure we’ll be fine, but it’s hard not to be nervous.”

“Yeah, for sure… ” Aedi agreed, looking off into the distance. “It’s really weird though. I’ve only been around for a year, and I’m already doing something like this. And you’re only on your second day! It seems pretty crazy that suddenly we’re gonna go somewhere with a bunch of Representatives, don’t you think?”

Orange jumped on her musing, having been bothered by the same thing. “Absolutely! I was really surprised when it all happened. I wasn’t really expecting a reaction like that from the overlord, and I definitely wasn’t expecting everyone to just kind of… accept it. Maybe they do things like this all the time, but it all seems a little off to me.”

“Maybe it’s because of where we’re from?” Aedi suggested. “I mean, we’re the only two people from Terre, right? At least, the only two who have passed the course right now… and Hadris hasn’t really fully taken it over since people are really against it, so maybe he figures that if we get really involved then we’ll be like ‘yo, working for the overlord is awesome!’ or something. ‘Cause working for the overlord is pretty cool…”

Orange hadn’t thought of that, but it made sense. Hadris had very little public support on Terre, as evidenced by the fact that he and Aedi were the only ones on the planet here. If he could the two of them to convince everyone else that he wasn’t so bad, then maybe things would change, if even just a little.

Which made Orange feel a little wary. What if the overlord’s personality around him was a front? What if he was trying to manipulate them and would drop the kindness the second things changed on Terre? He didn’t want to believe that, and honestly he really didn’t, but the possibility gnawed at the back of his mind.

“You know, I think that might be it. I mean, it makes a lot of sense now that I think about it.” Orange agreed.

Before the two could continue exchanging thoughts, Orange’s buzzer buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket and answered it, Aedi eagerly moving closer to try and eavesdrop.

“Hello, this is Orange! How can I help you today?” he greeted.

A woman’s voice spoke up on the other end. “My place. Babysitting. ASAP. Get it?”

“Got it.”

“Good.”

Saying nothing more, his client hung up and his destination glowed on the map that popped up in her absence.

“Aww, you got a job?” Aedi pouted.

“Yeah, sorry. I’ve been pretty busy today… but, hey, I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” he reminded her.

“Right! The big day! All right, I’ll see you then, then! Don’t get yourself put in hospital again, okay? I’ll be really mad if I have to go alone!” Aedi waved as she started running off again. Orange waved after her, holding back the desire within him to remind her not to run in the halls.

It didn’t take him more than a minute or two to find the apartment marked on the map. He knocked on the door and waited for a minute in silence. As soon as he went to go knock on the door again it swung open, startling him. Standing there was a tall woman dressed in flowing garments and silks, lavender hair and beads dancing in a wind that he couldn’t feel. Looking again, he noticed that she didn’t seem to be standing on solid ground and her skin was pale and translucent – if he had to guess, he’d say she was some sort of ghost or other spirit.

“Intern?”

“Intern.” Orange nodded.

“Great. Going out tonight. Need someone to watch my little sister. Back there somewhere.” She began, looking over her shoulder. “Be back whenever. Deal with it. Get it?”

“Got it.”

“Good.”

The woman flipped her hair and passed right through him and down the hall, sending a chill down his spine. Straightening his tie, Orange regained his composure and walked inside.

The interior of the apartment matched its occupant perfectly. The walls, floor, and furniture were all varying shades of soft purples, primarily lighter ones. Veils, beads, and other glittering accessories hung in various places around the room, giving the room a bizarre but elegantly magical feeling to it. More importantly, Orange didn’t see a little sister to babysit anywhere in the room.

“Hello?” he called out. “It’s the babysitter! Are we playing hide and seek?”

He got no response, but was sure she was just in another room somewhere. He walked down the hallway, unable to get rid of the feeling that he had landed himself in a horror film. Everything was so still and so utterly silent – he felt more like he was in a museum than in someone’s apartment.

At the end of the hall were two doors, which Orange found strange. The rest of the hall had been bare, and now at the end of it there were two doors crammed together so closely they may as well have been a single double door. There was a significant difference between the two, however: the door on the right had a sign on it reading “Astasia’s Room: Don’t enter unless you want your life to become a living hell. Get it?”.

“Got it.” He said to himself, almost able to hear his client’s “good” surround him. Having no other choice, he opened the door on the left and called again fruitlessly before entering.

As he closed the door behind him – a decision he quickly regretted – he found himself engulfed in utter darkness. Fearing a repeat of the last time he was in such a dark place, he reached for his buzzer and found that it produced no light. Deciding that he should leave the door open as a light source, he reached for it and found he could not find it again. In fact, he couldn’t feel anything there but air. He walked forward to see if he would bump into it, sure he was just having issues trying to find something with no sensation in his arms again, but there was nothing there but empty space.

He opened his mouth and spoke “Guess I’ll have to get used to this kind of thing,” but he heard nothing. His skin crawled, but he straightened his tie again, turned back around, and moved onward. Surely he would find something here at some point, and if not then it wasn’t like standing around was going to do anything. Not that he was entirely sure he was moving at all – he could feel that he was trying to move and he swore he could feel his steps in his normal leg, but he couldn’t hear his footfalls or their echoes in the darkness.

Much to his relief, after only a few seconds of walking he spotted a light. Overwhelmed with excitement, he rushed toward it so quickly he thought he might have tripped. Quickly finding himself right before it but unable to see beyond it, Orange took a deep breath and walked through it, closing his eyes to avoid being blinded by the light.

When he opened his eyes again, he found himself falling through a sky full of balloons and fluffy clouds. Suppressing a girly shriek, he grabbed a balloon. And another. And another, and another, and another. He wasn’t sure it was doing him any good, but it certainly made him feel more secure. His effort nearly became all for naught when he heard a voice booming from somewhere he couldn’t find.

“Hi there! Are you the babysitter?” the voice asked. It sounded like that of a young girl – presumably the little sister that the laconic ghost woman had spoken of.

“Yes! That’s me! Hello, my name is Orange!” Orange greeted, putting on a smile so quickly he swore he could hear his jaw crack.

“Hello, mister Orange! My name is Abasia!” the little sister greeted in return. “Here, lemme put you down somewhere!”

Before he could become uneasy at her usage of “put you down”, all of the balloons popped and he could see a floating, glittering platform rushing up at him. Preparing for a messy demise, Orange was surprised to the point of nearly having a heart attack when he landed very gently on both feet. Standing before him was a girl who couldn’t have been older than six years old, with curly purple hair and a frilly violet outfit that radiated sweetness (and diabetes).

“Hello, hello, and welcome to the show!” Abasia cheered, throwing up her arms. As she did so, more balloons exploded into the sky from beneath the platform, accompanied by confetti and sparkles. It was such a sight that Orange completely forget that the situation he was in was exceedingly strange.

“Thank you for inviting me!” he smiled with a light bow.

“It’s nothing, really!” she grinned, hands on her hips. “I’m always ready to share my magic with the world! Especially cuz Astasia never wants to watch. Such a meanie…” she pouted.

“But anyway, anyway!” she snapped out of it before Orange had a chance to try and cheer her up, “It’s probably getting kinda late out, isn’t it?”

Orange checked his watch. It was around 6:30 PM, which wasn’t terribly late to Orange but was probably close to it for someone her age. Probably, he thought – he could tell that Astasia likely didn’t pay much attention to her sister, leaving him doubting that she had any sort of bed time.

“So it’s the perfect time for a story!” she continued, again without allowing Orange the time to say anything. He almost felt like he was the one being babysat.

“Okay, mister Orange! Follow me!”

Abasia grabbed Orange by the hand and started skipping off into the distance, meaning all Orange had to do was walk a little faster. The platform and colorful sky faded around them, leaving them in complete darkness before giving way to a new scene. They found themselves in a round room bordered with beanbag chairs and stuffed animals, lit only by glow-in-the-dark stickers on the wall and a glowing book hovering above a table in the center of the room. Abasia released him and seated herself in front of the book, Orange deciding to sit right across from her. He tried to keep his attention on her, but the scenery around him made the task exceedingly difficult.

“All righty, are you ready for,” she wiggled her hands, “the story of a lifetime?!”

“Absolutely!” he lied.

“Okie-dokie! Close your eyes, mister Orange! Gotta get fully immersed in the story.”

Orange did as instructed with a smile, finding the whole thing kind of adorable despite the feeling in his gut telling him that things were about to go horribly wrong. He told himself to get used to that feeling.

“So once upon a time there was a magical kingdom called, umm… Kingdomland! And the ruler of it was the beautiful Princess Orange!”

Orange’s eyes were forced open, staring out a window and out toward a faraway castle surrounded by giant candy and sparkling lights. Not feeling much surprise anymore, he stepped back and investigated his surroundings. He was in a small room with stone walls and not much else aside from a small door on the floor. He looked out the window again, realizing he must be in some sort of tower. The implications of this dawning upon him, he stepped back and looked down. He was wearing the pinkest, fluffiest, frilliest, most incredibly sparkly dress he had ever seen in his life.

“Um.”

“But Princess Orange had been kidnapped by the evil beast, Golaeid!” Abasia continued narrating from somewhere far above him, either unaware of his plight or simply uncaring toward it. Probably a little bit of both.

Deciding he’d have to just adjust to his poofy prison for the time being, Orange peered out the window to see if he could get a glimpse of whatever this “Golaeid” thing was supposed to be. Not seeing anything immediately, he was instead attracted to a figure riding along on the horizon – presumably his knight in shining armor.

“Fear not, Princess Orange! Prince Ecoive is on the way to save the day!” Abasia cheered as the figure drew closer. “With uh… Horseyname at the prince’s side, victory is surely… gonna be a thing!”

At last the prince reached the base of the tower, dismounting Horseyname the creatively-named horse. At a second glance, it appeared to be a unicorn with wings. Orange was pretty sure those had a name, but he knew very little about glittering magical storytime ponies.

“Fear not, Princess Orange! Justice at hand! With the sword of the gods, Galaxy Slayer in my hand, Horseyname theoretically at my side as it is difficult for alicorns to scale narrow stairways, and the wishes of Kingdomland in my heart, nothing will keep me from defeating Golaeid and rescuing you!” the prince declared valiantly in an unmistakably female voice. Seeing that he was in a frilly princess dress, Orange didn’t think much of it.

“Heart full of joy, Princess Orange shouted down words of encouragement toward the brave prince!” Abasia directed.

“Um… thank you very much, Prince Ecoive! I believe in you! You can do it!” he shouted down, hope he was being passionate enough for Abasia’s tastes amidst his bafflement. Disappointing a little girl was never something he wanted to do, but he really didn’t want to disappoint a little girl who could apparently bend reality to her whims.

“Inspired by Princess Orange’s words, Prince Ecoive braced herself and kicked down the door to the tower ‘cause it’s really cool when people do that and Prince Ecoive is really cool! She was so cool that she wasn’t even spooked by how spooky the tower was, or the spooky storm that was happening! Or that it was nighttime! And that there were ghosts!”

As Abasia spoke, all of the additions she made to the story came to be. As much as he wanted to wanted to hold a thrilling conversation with Horseyname, Orange wasn’t fond of sticking his head out of windows while in the top room of a tall tower during thunderstorms, nor was he fond of attracting ghosts to himself. Far too spooky for his tastes.

“Prince Ecoive made sure to put her money in the pony parking meter before racing up the stairs at an astounding 25 miles per hour, always making sure to keep to the right and knock doors before opening them!” Abasia continued, causing Orange to wonder if she realized how silly this was getting.

Seeing that he was stuck in a tower with only a trapdoor leading out he assumed he wasn’t supposed to take (the same went for the window, not that he wanted to exit through there), Orange waited patiently as Abasia narrated Prince Ecoive’s journey up the stairs, thankful to have a distraction from the dress he was wearing. It wasn’t so much being in the dress as it was being in a dress so incredibly uncomfortable. Did princesses really wear things like this? Why would any little girl ever dream of being stuck in a suffocating mass of sparkly fabric all day, every day? He imagined drowning in it, thinking that would be a pretty strange way to die.

Abasia described Prince Ecoive’s trek as nonsensical task after nonsensical task. Dodging traps that blew bubbles, leading couches away from suicide, helping ancient immortal tribesmen crossing four-lane highways, battling mechs made of silverware and kitchen appliances, teaching walls that called people names how to love, making sandwiches, so on and so forth. Orange stared at the trapdoor for a solid hour as he listened to the tale, nodding along. He was so intrigued, so invested in the story that when Prince Ecoive burst through the trapdoor while riding a talking rainbow fish it startled him.

“Princess Orange, you’re alive and well!” Prince Ecoive cried, rushing to his side. She knelt before him, taking his hand and kissing it gently. He hoped his face wasn’t as red as he felt like it was. Brushing her olive hair out of her eyes, she gazed deeply into his.

“Such gorgeous eyes! Such a delicate frame! Such soft skin! Such vivid color! Such an enchanting aura! Truly, it is an honor to be your savior!” she continued.

“Um… thanks, you’re pretty cool, too!” Orange stuttered, mind beginning to shut down as he felt his cheeks getting hotter. Fortunately for him, he was only able to drown in his awkwardness for a brief moment before Abasia resumed her narration.

“But, not so fast! Here comes the mighty and fearsome Golaeid!”

Prince Ecoive unsheathed Galaxy Slayer and stood protectively in front of Orange, as though she had been preparing for this moment her entire life. Given that she probably hadn’t existed until an hour or so ago, Orange figured his assumption was entirely correct.

“Show yourself, foul scum! Bring forth your disgusting visage so I may banish it to the pits of Hell from whence it came!” Prince Ecoive demanded. That was a little dark for a children’s book, Orange thought, but he supposed this wasn’t a very typical children’s book.

Just as Prince Ecoive finished speaking, Orange heard a bizarrely cute roar. Before he could trace it back to Abasia’s voice, he heard the sound of metal slicing through stone, the feeling of weightlessness gripping him soon after. Feeling his center of gravity shift and watching wreckage begin to fly by, dissolving in the air like foam. Prince Ecoive wrapping her free arm around him and shouting something that went one ear and out the other. Running, jumping through the window and plummeting, spiraling toward the ground. And then flying, watching the tower fade away like it had never existed in the first place.

For a moment, he was somewhere else. He left the absurd fantasy land and landed somewhere darker, somewhere familiar and somewhere he never intended to return to. Somewhere where his skin was cold and his ears were ringing, where he couldn’t feel and couldn’t see.

He reached for his throat, feeling nothing there. He looked down and didn’t see what he wanted to see, feeling clammy and sick. He felt very high above where he was now, and yet so very far below.

When he remembered where he was now, it was as Horseyname landed on the ground with grace and Prince Ecoive jumped off of its back.

“Take care of Princess Orange, Horseyname, and I’ll take care of Golaeid!” she ordered, brandishing Galaxy Slayer and overflowing with heroic spirit. Her courage guiding her, she stood still and strong as the beast revealed itself.

Golaeid’s form was perhaps even more ridiculous than the Protector of All Naughty Tailorings Beneath Outerwear. It was some sort of cartoonish purple T-Rex covered with glitter – a recurring theme with Abasia, it appeared – and oversized bows. It wore a frilly pink tutu and bright pink lipstick to finish things off, and perhaps the silliest element was its cry: nothing more than Abasia trying to growl ferociously. Wherever Orange had been, he couldn’t return with such a sight before him. In fact, most of his focus immediately went toward holding back a giggle fit. For Prince Ecoive, this was serious business. Failure meant death and destruction, presumably. Now that he thought about it, Orange wasn’t sure what her failure would mean to him. Not death and destruction, he hoped. He had had enough of that for one life.

Not dancing the line between laughter and contemplation like her dearest princess, Prince Ecoive rushed forward with a war cry that seemed entirely too serious for the situation they were in. She slashed before Golaeid had the chance to, tearing its stomach open like a knife would to a stuffed animal. Out spilled stuffing, confetti, and candy: none things Orange found particularly disgusting but all things he found made him cringe when spilling out of an adorable dinosaur’s gut. Being a bit too squeamish to continue watching the prince violently eviscerate and utterly destroy something so cute, he buried his face in Horseyname’s mane.

Before he could regret his decision and look back up to carry the disturbing memory with him forever, Orange heard a squeaking noise, like someone had just squeezed the world’s largest rubber duck. He looked up to see Prince Ecoive walked toward the two, covered in what Orange would have considered harmless party leftovers under any other circumstances. Golaeid’s corpse faded in bubbles which rose into the sky and popped as they kissed the sky, leaving no sign it ever existed just as had happened to the tower it felled.

“Princess Orange, are you all right?” she asked gently as she reached Horseyname’s side. “Have you been hurt at all?”

“Only on the inside, I think.”

A shimmering violet light suddenly shone down on the two, causing Orange to fall off of Horseyname. Abasia’s face appeared in the clouds, as bright and cheery as ever.

“Thank you, Prince Ecoive! Thanks to you, Kingdomland is finally free of Golaeid’s reign of terror! You’ve slayed lots of enemies, lifted lots of curses, saved lots of lives, and rescued lots of kittens from lots of trees! As goddess of this world, I will grant you any wish of your choosing out of gratitude for your noble deeds!” she spoke, trying to sound as serious as possible but not doing very well at it. Not that the prince really registered Abasia’s oddities.

“O, fair goddess, what could I possibly ask for? The world is at long last safe and secure; what more could I ever want? I am at peace.” Prince Ecoive spoke as she lifted Orange to his feet effortlessly. He brushed himself off as she stepped away, bowing deeply to him.

“Princess Orange, I humbly pass my wish to you. Surely the fine ruler of this realm could make use of such divine grace.” She said.

“Very well then! What is your wish, Princess Orange?” Abasia asked before Orange could humbly deny the wish and end up getting into a very humbling battle of humble actions.

“I… I really wish we were out of this book.” Orange requested rather bluntly, hoping he didn’t offend her.

“Very well! Fwoooooosh!”

The world began to dissolve around them, erupting into walls of shimmering bubbles and glimmering confetti, the light beyond the boundaries of reality forcing Orange to shut his eyes and cover his face. When he felt darkness once more creeping around him, he opened his eyes and found he was back in the circular room with the book.

And, surprisingly, Prince Ecoive and Horseyname.

“What is this?! Where have we been taken?!” Prince Ecoive immediately questioned, a hand on Galaxy Slayer’s hilt. Horseyname snorted, sounding mildly annoyed but feeling little more.

“Don’t worry, Prince! You were just trapped inside of a book by Golaeid’s evil tricks! But now that the plot’s all over and everyone gets to live happily ever after, you’re free! Yaaaaay!” Abasia quickly explained, much to Orange’s relief.

“Ah, I understand.” Prince Ecoive nodded understandingly, sheathing Galaxy Slayer. Her face fell. “But, if my homeland is no longer, where shall I stay now?”

“Why don’t you stay with Abasia?” Orange suggested. “Err… the goddess, I mean.”

Abasia’s face lit up. “That’s a great idea, Princess Orange! We could hang out all the time and talk about flowers and bake cookies and stuff! And we could put bows in Horseyname’s hair and play video games!”

“I… I am honored.” Prince Ecoive said breathlessly, “To be valued as such by a mighty goddess… so long as victory as truly been reached, I have no qualms with staying here with you.”

“Hooray!” Abasia cheered. “This is gonna be awesome!”

“Yo. Intern still alive? Send him back. Go to bed or something.” Orange heard Astasia’s voice sound out from somewhere.

“Aww… well, looks like Princess Orange is gonna have to go do princess things elsewhere.” Abasia pouted. “But you’ll come back again won’t you?”

He couldn’t not smile at her excited smile and pleading eyes. Sure, it had been a pretty crazy experience, but it wasn’t a bad one. Better than life-threatening panty raids and awkwardly sitting in on meetings, that was for sure.

“Of course. Just tell your sister to call me whenever she needs me!” he assured her.

“Yokey-doke! Poof!”

In the blink of an eye and remarkably without any glittery effects, Orange suddenly found himself standing in the living room of Astasia’s apartment again. Astasia herself was hovering before him, looking him up and down. It was only then that Orange realized he was still in the dress, holding his clothes item in a neat pile he didn’t recall holding a few moments ago.

“Nice dress. Now scram. Get it?”

“Got it.”

“Good.”

She quickly escorted him out of the apartment, slamming the door shut. Frazzled and very exhausted, he checked his watch. It was getting pretty late, so he trudged back to his apartment and flopped down on his bed, ready to fall asleep.

“Hey, what the hell?!”

Lausac dropped down from the ceiling, hovering inches above Orange’s face. Orange, naturally, screamed.

“Why the hell did you tell Flannie I installed that trap-“

Noticing Orange’s attire, he snorted and promptly burst into laughter, collapsing onto his floor in hysterics. Orange stared at him for a minute before rolling over and resuming his efforts to sleep. Tomorrow was a big day, after all, and Orange was sure it would be just as crazy as the days that preceded it.
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darkzero225's avatar
>implying you can have too many donuts

orange why